Online dating services are great in that they help to remove the difficulty many people have with approaching unsuspecting men and women in hopes of getting a phone number or a date. However, the lack of physical interaction prevents a person from seeing who you are, making it necessary to demonstrate your personality through your writing. Here are a few ideas to consider to help you catch someone’s attention when sending them a message.

Reference the person’s profile. Any time you initiate contact with someone, you should demonstrate a sincere interest in them by referencing something they wrote that stands out to you. Tickle his or her ego by showing that you’re interested in them and their needs, not only your own.

Provide something they can respond to. Writing a simple statement like “I enjoyed reading your profile!” leaves little room for response shy of a courteous “Thank you”. Any message you send should include something that prompts the recipient for a response, giving them a reason to reply. For example, if someone’s profile states that they enjoy a specific band, ask what their favorite song or album is and why. Just make sure that you ask about things you can relate to so that you’ll be able to send them a reply when you hear back from them!

Offer some insight about yourself. Regardless of what type of relationship you are seeking, the goal in online dating is to find someone whose interests match your own. Keeping this in mind, your goal in sending someone a message should be to explain why you think you’d make a good match in order to compel the recipient to respond. Don’t go overboard though! As with writing a profile, you don’t want to deter someone from reading your message by making it frighteningly long or too self-centered.

Avoid being overly aggressive or needy. The unfortunate truth is that a fairly significant percentage of messages will not receive responses. Don’t let this deter you in sending messages in the future, and equally important, don’t let it negatively effect how you write your messages. Showing desperation in what you write will not encourage responses, and being too persistent in repeatedly contacting someone who never replied to you will have the same unfavorable result.

Be confident — but not too confident. Most people prefer someone who is on the confident side of the spectrum as opposed to being timid or doubtful about him- or herself. That doesn’t mean you should be overly confident in your approach though, as it can ultimately come off as overbearing and undesirable. Believe in yourself and what you are writing so that the recipient believes in you too!