Are you tired of sending message after message to online daters only to find that they’re not replying or are simply deleting your messages? Putting yourself out there opens you up and makes you vulnerable, and it can truly be a hit to the ego when you don’t hear back from someone that you are interested in. Although you may start to feel dejected and ultimately deterred from online dating, the cause for a lack of responses may not relate to anything about you or your profile; instead, it may simply be in the message you’re sending.

Take a look at some of your past messages, and check to see if you included something that prompts the recipient to respond. Without a specific question or comment that the he or she should address, your message does little more than tell the person about yourself or why you are interested in them. While there is nothing wrong with including such information in your message, you should make sure that your information leads into a question that the person you are contacting can easily reply to.

To help get you started, here are 20 ideas for questions that you could include with your initial message to help break the ice and influence the recipient to respond.

1. What are three words you would use to describe yourself?
2. What’s the name of your favorite movie and why?
3. What are three things you couldn’t live without?
4. What is your favorite feature about yourself? What is your least favorite feature about yourself?
5. What is one goal you would like to accomplish during your lifetime?
6. What do you prefer: brains or brawn?
7. Are you a morning or a night person?
8. If you could drop everything and go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go and why?
9. If you could travel through time, what point in history would you visit?
10. What is your favorite pastime?
11. What is your favorite time of year?
12. What kind of food do you enjoy most?
13. What kind of music do you listen to? Who is your favorite artist?
14. What activity makes you feel most alive?
15. If there was a movie about your life, would it be an action, adventure, comedy, horror, musical, or science fiction film?
16. What would your family say you’re like first thing in the morning?
17. Has anyone ever told you that you look like someone famous? If so, who?
18. What is the greatest compliment you have ever received?
19. What is the one gift you’ve received from someone that you will never forget?
20. Do you prefer to relax at home or be out and about? Alone or with friends?